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I remember exactly when it started. It was about 20 or 25 years ago, right when I was working as a public school elementary teacher. I spent a decade teaching fourth and fifth-grade band and orchestra—I hold both a Bachelor’s and a Master’s degree in education, and alongside my 39 years in the martial arts, I’ve spent my entire life studying how children learn, grow, and build character.
When these shiny new “participation trophies” first started showing up at the end of youth sports seasons, I remember pulling a veteran teacher aside. I asked her, “What’s the story with these awards? Why is everyone getting one?”
She looked at me and said, “Well, Kurt, we don’t want a child’s confidence to go down just because they finished in fifth, sixth, seventh, or last place. We want everybody’s confidence to go up, so we make sure everyone gets an award.”
Back then, I thought, “Okay, well, that’s definitely not how I grew up, but I’m going to trust the veteran teachers who have been doing this longer than me.” I didn’t know any better yet.
Well, fast forward 25 years later. What has this experiment actually given us?
It has given us an entire generation of kids with absolutely no grit.
The False Promise of Unearned Rewards
The theory behind participation trophies was well-meaning, but it completely backfired. Handing a child a plastic statue just for showing up doesn’t actually build genuine self-esteem. Kids are smart; they know when they haven’t earned something. When you reward a last-place finish the exact same way you reward a championship performance, you empty the meaning out of hard work.
Worse yet, you rob children of a vital human experience that they desperately need: loss.
Kids need to lose. We all do. Loss is not a psychological trauma to be avoided at all costs; loss is the primary fuel for personal growth.
Think about Michael Jordan. When he was a sophomore in high school, he was famously cut from the varsity basketball team. The coaches didn’t hand him a “participation jersey” and let him sit on the bench just to protect his feelings. They told him he wasn’t good enough yet. He had to taste that bitter loss, and that exact sting is what fueled his legendary work ethic. He went back to the gym, outworked everyone else, made the team the following year, and never looked back on his way to becoming the greatest of all time. If you shield a child from the friction of failure, you permanently stunt their potential.
How True Grit is Formed
You cannot build resilience, perseverance, or grit in a vacuum. Grit is only formed when a child encounters an obstacle, fails to clear it, feels the disappointment of that failure, and chooses to pick themselves up, practice harder, and try again.
When we hand out trophies for simply occupying space on a field, we teach kids that effort doesn’t matter and that success is guaranteed without sacrifice. Then, when they hit the real world as teenagers and adults—where bosses, colleges, and life do not hand out participation awards—their confidence completely shatters because they have never developed the emotional calluses to handle rejection.
Parents and teachers, it’s time to knock off the participation trophy culture. We are not doing our children any favors by softening the world for them.
At Championship Martial Arts – Kenosha, we do things differently. On our training floor, a black belt isn’t given away just for showing up to class. It is earned through sweat, missed tests, structural corrections, and hours of dedicated practice. When our students achieve a new rank, they carry themselves with unshakeable confidence because they know they actually earned it. Let’s stop protecting our kids from losing, and start preparing them to win. Bring your child out to our Kenosha dojo, and let’s help them build some real, old-school grit.
Visit Our Southeast Wisconsin Locations
Kenosha: Championship Martial Arts – Kenosha | 📞 (262) 288-9919
Racine: Championship Martial Arts – Racine | 📞 (262) 205-5929
Oak Creek: Championship Martial Arts – Oak Creek | 📞 (414) 250-7615