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Did you know the number one place where kids decide to quit an activity isn’t on the field or the mat? It’s in the backseat of your car.
It’s a natural parental instinct to go into “Fix-It Mode.” We see our kids struggle at a tournament or miss a tackle at a football game, and we want to help them improve immediately. But for a child, that car ride home feels like an interrogation. I remember my own childhood in the ’80s and ’90s—if my brother and I didn’t bring home a trophy, my dad would joke that the “trunk was a little light today.” It was a long drive back to Kenosha.
The “Young and Dumb” Lesson
As an educator with a Master’s degree and a decade in the Racine Unified School District, I had to learn the hard way that constant correction leads to a total shutdown. Early in my teaching career, I once gave so much feedback to an adult student that they looked at me and asked, “Did I do anything right?”
I’ve never forgotten that. If an adult feels defeated by constant correction, imagine what it does to a seven-year-old.
The PCP Method: Praise, Correct, Praise
To prevent the “Backseat Breakup,” we use a specific communication loop at Championship Martial Arts – Kenosha called PCP.
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Praise: Start with something specific you saw. “Dude, that roundhouse kick was crazy high today!”
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Correct (The Ask): Instead of telling them what they did wrong, ask them how they can be even more dominant next time. “What’s one thing you think you could work on this week to be an absolute tank out there next Saturday?”
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Praise: End on a high note. “I think if you add that, you’re going to be a monster. I was so proud of how you kept going today.”
By framing the “correction” as a way to become even more dominant, you aren’t fixing a mistake; you’re building a strategy. This keeps their grit intact and keeps them excited to get back on the mat.
The 3-Step Action Plan (The Snippet Trap)
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The 15-Minute Rule: On the drive home, wait at least 15 minutes before talking about the performance. Let the adrenaline settle first.
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Ask, Don’t Tell: Use the phrase, “How can you be even more dominant next time?” This puts the child in the driver’s seat of their own improvement.
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Focus on the Effort: Even if the “hardware” in the trunk is light, praise the focus and body language they showed during the challenge.
Visit Our Southeast Wisconsin Locations
Learn how we build resilient kids who don’t quit. Visit us in Kenosha or our sister locations:
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Kenosha: Championship Martial Arts – Kenosha | 📞 (262) 288-9919
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Racine: Championship Martial Arts – Racine | 📞 (262) 205-5929
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Oak Creek: Championship Martial Arts – Oak Creek | 📞 (414) 250-7615